| TIN MAN | Help! I’m trying to get to the Wizard of Oz at The Turner Centre next week, but I’ve completely seized up! Can you oil my joints, please? |
| DOROTHY | We’re going there too! You can come with us. What do they call you? |
| SCARECROW | Is it ‘Rusty’? |
| COWARDLY LION | Or is it ‘Oil-iver’? |
| TIN MAN | No…. It’s ‘Caesar’. |
| COWARDLY LION | Can I please tag along with you in the woods? It’s scary in there. |
| DOROTHY | Why of course you can… Wait a minute… You shouldn’t be scared of anything. |
| COWARDLY LION | Are you kidding? There are lions and tigers and bears in there! |
| DOROTHY | But… aren’t you a lion? |
| COWARDLY LION | No I’m a cowardly lion. My mother was a lion but my father was a chicken. |
| SCARECROW | Hi there, little girl and her dog. I see you’re heading down the Yellow Brick Road? |
| DOROTHY | Hello Mr Straw Man. Yes, we’re off to the Turner Centre to see the Wizard of Oz. |
| SCARECROW | Oh, I really want to see that show, and so do my young crow friends. |
| DOROTHY | They have Family Tickets, you know. How many crow friends do you have? |
| SCARECROW | (Thinks) Twelvety fiveteen and a halven |
| DOROTHY | (Momentarily confused) I tell you what, we’ll work it out when we get there. |
| DOROTHY | What is this place? Wait… it looks just like Oz! |
| TOTO | The place with man-eating sharks and killer spiders? |
| DOROTHY | No not Australia, Toto. ‘Oz’, as in ‘The Wizard of Oz’. |
| TOTO | You mean the place with flying monkeys and evil witches? |
| DOROTHY | Yes. We’re much safer here. |
| TOTO | And I have to say, it’s doing wonders for your complexion, Dorothy. |
| DOROTHY | Run to the storm shelter, Toto! There’s a tornado coming! |
| TOTO | But where did you put our Wizard of Oz tickets, Dorothy? |
| DOROTHY | It’s okay, they’re right here in my… Oh no! They’ve blown away! Did you see where they went? |
| TOTO | Yes. Somewhere over that rainbow. |
| DOROTHY | Quick, after them, Toto! We can’t miss that show. It’s going to be out of this world! |
The Stage Door 